Children. We try to look past their messy faces, sticky hands and loud screaming, but it’s undeniable that children are exhausting, difficult beings. Puppies, on the other hand, are adorable, lovable little creatures. So if you’re deciding whether to adopt a child or a dog, please take these factors into consideration:
- Puppies are furry and soft
You can snuggle your face into a puppy’s soft fur all day long! If you do that with a baby, they will most likely pull your hair, scream in your face or throw up on you. Which brings me to my next point…
- Babies always smell like sh*t
I’m not sure why or how this is even possible, but babies always smell disgusting. At any given moment, a baby most likely has either poop or vomit on them somewhere. Puppies do not. Even puppies’ breath smells great!
- Babies are loud as f***
Babies cry. A lot. If they’re hungry, full, tired, grumpy, pooping, you name it! They cry about almost everything. Puppies occasionally bark but a) it’s adorable and b)you can train them not to bark. I’ve never heard of training a baby not to cry, but please God let me know if you find a way!
- You don’t have to change a puppy’s diaper
I mean, I feel like I don’t even need to explain myself on this one. Dealing with a diaper full of human feces is a horrific job, especially since babies have some seriously mysterious things going on with their stomachs. Puppies pee and poop outside like civilized beings. Plus, you can buy a pooper scooper so you can keep your distance!
- Babies sleep all the time
…and it’s no fun. Puppies have the energy to play and snuggle! Babies basically require an hour of sleep for every minute they’re awake. BORING.
- Babies throw up every time they eat
This explains itself. Would you hang out with a friend who threw up every time they ate? I didn’t think so. Puppies know how to keep it down.
If this list doesn’t convince you to go for a puppy and not a child, then you truly are a baby person. Congratulations! You’ve passed the test to have a baby! Now your life is going to suck.
Also read: 9 Things to Do with Your Dog This Summer